Back Home

Good news, Dad came home today. They didn't give him another feeding tube or the IV. They feel that he should be getting all of his intake orally. They gave him a few ideas and suggestions for foods that he can try.

It's good that things weren't more serious, and it's always good to have Dad at home.

Back in the Hospital, Again

Well, Dad is back in the hospital, again. He finished his third round of chemo early last week, but he was also having trouble with his feeding tube. It was leaking quite a bit. The hole that the tube went into was stretching and that was causing fluid to leak out. They tried putting a bag on it so that any leakage would go into the bag, but that didn't work. Finally on Thursday they decided to remove the feeding tube entirely. We thought this would be a motivational step in the right direction. We were hoping that this would cause Dad to get on a more dedicated eating and drinking schedule. But, Dad really struggled trying to get all of his nutrition and fluids in orally.

On Sunday Dad was starting to feel pretty weak and dehydrated. He decided that he better go to the hospital. Mom and Dad went to the ER yesterday afternoon, and Dad was admitted late yesterday evening. Today he was moved to the Oncology floor because his red blood cell and white blood cell counts were down, and his Coumadin (blood thinner) level was up. They were a little concerned of internal bleeding. But, this afternoon his red cell count was back up, and the nurses felt that there wasn't any more risk of internal bleeding.

They aren't going to send Dad home until they figure out a way for him to receive nourishment, but they've said that could be as early as tomorrow. They are talking about surgically implanting his feeding tube again, but they can't do this until his Coumadin levels come back down. They are also talking about giving him an IV that he can get nourishment through.

They had Dad meet with a Gastroenterologist today. They work with the digestive system and it's disorders. The doctors are hoping that they can help Dad with his diet.

Phoenix, AZ

Dad has finished his second round of chemo. He's feeling pretty good, but he is starting to lose his hair. They are flying home to Phoenix on Saturday. He'll continue his chemo once back home. It'll be good to have Mom and Dad back home.

Deep-Vein Thrombosis & Pulmonary Embolisms

Well, dad is back in the hospital. He has deep-vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolisms. Because of this, his chemo that was scheduled for tomorrow has been postponed until further notice, and he will be in the hospital until his condition improves. They are planning to return to Phoenix as soon as possible after he is released.

Deep-vein thrombosis (DVT) is the formation of a blood clot in a deep vein. It commonly affects the leg veins. There may be no symptoms referrable to the location of the DVT, but the classical symptoms of DVT include pain, swelling and redness of the leg and dilation of the surface veins.

Pulmonary embolism (PE) is blockage of the pulmonary artery (or one of its branches), usually when a venous thrombus (blood clot from a vein), becomes dislodged from its site of formation and embolizes to the arterial blood supply of one of the lungs. This process is termed thromboembolism. Symptoms may include difficulty breathing, pain in the chest during breathing, and in more severe cases collapse, circulatory instability and sudden death. Treatment, usually, is with anticoagulant medication, such as heparin and warfarin, and rarely (in severe cases) with thrombolysis or surgery.

Obviously this is a big concern for our family, and we ask you to please include dad in your prayers. We will keep this blog updated as we know more.

Back at the Pines Ranch

Dad is doing better, and was released from the hospital yesterday. Mom and dad have returned back to the cabin at the Pines Ranch. Dad is still weak and tired, but he is in a great place to get better.

They are now bit worried about being so far away from a hospital. They are planning on coming home to Phoenix earlier than expected. They are planning to return in about four weeks.

We are just so happy that the entire family was able to spend time at the cabin together, and to be able to visit with some wonderful people. We really didn't know if dad would make it up this year.

Chemo and the Huntsman Cancer Center

Dad started chemo last Monday. There are three chemo treatments that he is on. Two of them are administered in the cancer center, and the third is administered through a portable pump that he wears for five days. He does this every three weeks, and the plan is for a total of six months.

At first dad was doing really well with the chemo, but then it started to take a toll and weaken him. He started having trouble getting up the stairs at the cabin. He was having some GI problems, and his feeding tube started backing up. In his weakened condition and with the GI problems, dad was quickly dehydrated.

This morning dad was taken to the Hunstman Cancer Center where they admitted him. We don't know much right now. Just that he is being monitored overnight, and is being given lots of fluids for his dehydration.

We don't know yet if mom and dad will stay up in Utah, or if they will be returning to Phoenix. They have mentioned that this might be more than the two of them can handle being that far from civilization. We will keep this blog updated with his condition, please check back often.

Utah, here we come!

Well, dad is starting to feel better. The food he is eating is sitting well with him. His overall condition seems to be improving.

We are all planning a trip to Utah in early August. Mom and dad will fly, and Melenie and I will drive with our two dogs (DJ and Pasta). We all feel that would be really good for him to get up to our cabin at Pines Ranch. We also have tentative plans for Grand Teton National Park. Amy is even planning on flying out from Seattle.

180°

The hospital has has done a 180 on us. It seems like every doctor has a different answer. Now they are saying that they can put in the port for his chemotherapy. They are saying that the doctor's apprehension yesterday was actually overreaction on her part. We just don't understand how one doctor can say it's a really bad idea, and the next thinks it's a great idea. They will be surgically putting dad's port in this afternoon. He will be released from the hospital a few hours after the surgery, so he'll be home tonight.

The good news, dad has tested negative for C-diff, so hopefully he won't get dehydrated again. They will be delivering dad's new tube feeding formula, with fiber, this afternoon, hopefully this will help dad's diet. The blood thinner that he will remain on will be administered through a shot to the abdomen once every day, that should be fun to do.

Kicked Out

The hospital says that they have done everything they can for dad. Are they sure? We aren't! With dad still having C-diff we're just not sure that he can drink enough fluids to keep him from dehydrating. We don't want to see dad come home, and then have to take him right back just so they can hook up an IV to give him fluids. Now, the nurses have said that he is off the IV, and that he is taking in all of his fluids orally. We'll be heading down tonight to see dad, and we'll talk to his nurses about his condition.

Dad is currently on blood thinners for his blood clots. They have said that he has a lot of clots in his left arm, but that they aren't too serious. They have told him that he will remain on blood thinners for as long as nine months.

One more thing, as long as dad is on the blood thinners they can't put in his port for his chemotherapy, and without the port they can't start his chemotherapy. So, it looks as if his chemotherapy is going to be pushed back as far as nine months. I just hope this doesn't cause too much of a delay in fighting his cancer.

Climbing a Mountain

You know Pete, the first time I climbed to the top of Timp it was quite an adventure. Our group started at the Timpaneke Campground up American Fork Canyon. It's a longer way to the top of the mountain from that side, but not as steep right off. The trail has its twists and turns. Sometimes it even disappears from view because of snow or rocks. And there are switchbacks and you think you are covering the same ground over again. You have to put your trust in those who have walked the mountain before you. You can tell you are going uphill though and you have to stop and rest every once in a while. You have to listen to your body to know when to rest and when to start up again. Along the way you see and learn things. The beauty of nature is all around you with trees and wildflowers and birds and animals and rocks and water. You know that none of it is there by mistake. It was created for our enjoyment and growth. If we take the time, and don't rush through it, it is magnificent. Finally you get to the "saddle" where you can see the whole valley. It is beautiful! We ate lunch there and to rest and get some more energy, because the hardest part was still ahead of us. A lot of people quit when they get to the saddle, but that is not the top of the mountain. You have to go all the way to the metal shed on the very tip top to complete the journey. You can see it from the saddle and it seems like it is only another 10 or 15 minutes away but it is anywhere from 30 to 60 minutes away. It took us 45 minutes. It is very steep. It has big rocks to get over and lots of loose shale. It takes every amount of energy to go the last little bit. By now your body hurts, your muscles hurt, and you want to give up. You have to keep your eyes on the goal--the metal shed. Finally you arrive!!! And from the top of the mountain you can now see both sides...both valleys! The view is unbelievable. You get to sign your name in a book in the metal shed and outside you get to sing "We Are The Champions!" and "Celebrate!" For a small moment life is victorious, YOU are victorious!

Pete, over the last two months you too have been climbing a mountain. You are GOOD at that! I have followed you before!! You are like a mountain goat running free!! You have been on a path this time that only you can follow. We are all here cheering you along, but you are the one that has to do it. There have been setbacks and switchbacks. You have gotten frustrated and your body has hurt. You feel like you don't have any more energy. Don't quit at the "saddle". Go to the metal shed. Go to the top of mountain!! We will carry you there if need be, like the angels helped the Willey and Martin Handcart companies. We are here with you, praying for you, cheering for you. Don't give up!! We love you! We are very aware that our lives are in the hands of a loving Heavenly Father, but so is the beauty on the mountain. Enjoy the journey. Enjoy the view. Enjoy each new day. Keep the faith. Trust in those helping you. Your family and friends love you. God bless you for the joy you bring to our family. YOU ARE THE CHAMPION MY FRIEND!

Tahna Whitaker

Blood Clots

This morning dad's left arm swelled up. They took him down to have an ultrasound done to check for blood clots. They found that almost every vein in his left arm is occluded with clots. They have started him on a blood thinner to help clear up the clots.

We just got back from visiting him. His spirits seem to be pretty good, but you can tell that he is ready for all of this to be over with (he's a bit depressed).

We'll keep everyone posted as we know more.

Back in the Hospital

Well, dad is back in the hospital. We took him to the ER this morning, and they admitted him after a few hours of tests and monitoring him. He has had a lot of diarrhea the last few days. It was a problem that no matter what he tried he couldn't fix, and it caused him to be dehydrated. He was so sick, shaking, and weak this morning that he could barely stand up on his own. They think the cause is the C-diff that he had while in rehab (they think it came back). Dad had been taking a probiotic to help his body after recover after the C-diff. We'll know more when his tests come back in a day or so.

• C-diff is a species of bacteria of the genus Clostridium which are gram-positive, anaerobic, spore-forming rods (bacillus). C. difficile is the most significant cause of pseudomembranous colitis, a severe infection of the colon, often after normal gut flora is eradicated by the use of antibiotics. Treatment is by stopping any antibiotics and commencing specific anticlostridial antibiotics.
• Probiotic bacterial cultures are intended to assist the body's naturally occurring gut flora to reestablish themselves. They are sometimes recommended by doctors, and, more frequently, by nutritionists, after a course of antibiotics, or as part of the treatment for cut related candidiasis. Claims are made that probiotics strengthen the immune system.

Pete says thanks

Dear Family and Friends;

It has been almost a week now since I got out of the hospital after a 6 week and 1 day bout. I am feeling much better and am gaining in endurance, balance and walking abilities. I have a long road to go however to get any where close to what I was before April 20^th.

The main reason for this message is to thank all of you that sent e-mails, cards, well wishes and made phone calls to me or my family while I was in the hospital. The support and love, as well as all the prayers, were felt and appreciated. Thank you ever so much, thanks, thanks and thanks. Much love has been generated with your support.

For those that might not know, cancer was found in my stomach and esophagus in March. After much testing and analysis, and second opinions, it was decided to remove the cancerous portions of my system through surgery. I had a four and one-half hour operation April 20^th. There were pathologists in the operating room and they helped determine when the cutting should end. The stomach was totally removed and almost the entire esophagus was removed. They had to bring in a lung surgeon half way through the operation and break two ribs to get high enough to remove parts of the esophagus. I was doing well a few days later but then came down with pneumonia and then septic shock. I was unconscious for the next 3 weeks and in bad shape. As I was coming out of these problems I came down with one of those hospital diseases called C-dif. But I am in the mend fast now.

Again I want to thank you for your support and prayers. I received well wishes from extended family, from neighbors, from Pines Ranch families, from MCDC (minute man) acquaintances, from ward members and so many others. I could not list all of you but again I say thanks, thanks and thanks.

Much love; Pete Ottosen

Home at Last

Mom and I went to the hospital at 9:30 am this morning to learn how to take care of dad here at home. We got a consultation from his nurse and doctor. The nurse showed us how to change his bandages, and how to clean out his feeding tube. The doctor went over all of his medications and follow up appointments. After reviewing everything the nurse removed his PIC line (peripherally inserted central catheter) and made sure it didn't bleed. Dad then got dressed and walked out of the Good Sam Rehab completely on his own. It's good to have him home, and I know he's glad to be home.

We had a couple of visits tonight. He had a home health provider deliver his tube feeding pump and formula. She showed us how to set up the pump and formula and get the pump and tube primed. We had a nurse stop by a little later, and she showed us how to insert the feeding tub and reviewed the tube cleaning procedures (more for Melenie since she couldn't be there this morning). The nurse also reviewed different foods that dad should try while he is getting a diet that works for him put together.

Dad has a long road ahead of him, but we all know that he will endure to the end. We aren't sure what this does for our family's Utah plans, but it does look like they will be changing. For our family and friends in Utah we'll keep you posted on any future travel plans.

6 Weeks and 1 Day

Mom and I are heading down to the hospital in about 15 minutes. We are going to be learning some care and exercise techniques for helping dad when he comes home. They'll be teaching us thinks like changing his bandages, setting up his tube feeding, and exercises that he can do around the house. They are also going to schedule an appointment for an in-home consultation by one of their staff. After that:

DAD IS COMING HOME!

It'll be good to have him home today. It's been a long time, and we know he is ready to come home. He's pretty sick and tired of being stuck in a hospital bed for most of the day. Around the house he can stay more active and only rest when he wants/needs to. I really feel that this will help him both physically and mentally.

We'll continue to keep everyone posted on his progress here at home, and maybe there will even be an appearance made by dad himself on here from time to time.

Thanks again for all the support and prayers. We know dad has been blessed.

Dad the Pool Shark

Hey, everyone! We went and saw Dad this morning and he's doing really well. He had physical therapy at 9:00 and we hung around for that. Today, he was playing pool (billiards), which the Physical Therapist said was good because it forces him to bend and balance. He's much better than you would think! Melenie asked him if there was a secret life as a hustler that we didn't know about, and he laughed and said, "Didn't you notice me sneaking out late at night?" =)

After his Physical Therapy, we met with his doctor and therapists for his weekly consultation. All of his therapists (Speech, Physical, and Occupational) all said that he's doing fantastic! They're all very impressed with his progress and the doctor says he's ready to come home... WOOHOO!! However, he still has this nasty bacteria in his belly that's causing some stomach trouble, and the infection causing the trouble is quite contagious, so they really want to get cleared up and under control before they send him home.

So, over the next few days, they're going to work to fight off the last of this infection, and they hope to send him home this weekend or the early parts of this week.

Thanks again to all of you for your thoughts and prayers, and we ask that you continue to pray that Pete's body will heal and that he can return home soon.

Many of you have said you'd like to leave a comment but can't figure out how to do so. It's really easy. Here's how you do it:

At the bottom of each update, you'll see a link that says how many comments are on that post... such as "1 comment" or "4 comments". All you need to do is click on that, and a new page will open up. On the right hand side, you'll see a blank area with the words, "Leave your comment" above it.

• Type in your thoughts and well-wishes
• Scroll down a little bit, and where it says, "Choose an identity" select "Other"
• Type in your name in the little "Name" box that appears
  
• Click on the square that says "Publish Your Comment"
  

That's it! We'll add your comment to the blog! (All comments have to be read by us first, and then we make them visible).

Solid Food

Sorry we haven't posted in a few days, but it's been a long and busy Memorial Day weekend.

We visited dad last Friday, and he was doing really well. The physical therapists are working really hard with him, and dad really seems to enjoy his workouts and getting his strength back. He had his Barium Swallow test that morning, and he passed it 100%! Everyone is very excited about that. Dad started eating solid food that evening. The feeding tube is still in place to ensure he is getting enough nutrition, but he has had quite a bit of solid food, including macaroni and cheese, peaches, cheesecake, oatmeal, scrambled eggs, pears, zucchini, and cream of mushroom soup. So, he's eating better than most of us! :)

So far all the food he has eaten has agreed well and not caused any discomfort, nausea or vomiting, which is great progress. This Wednesday he has his second evaluation meeting with his doctors and therapists. We're hoping at that point we will get some idea of when he will have his feeding tube removed and be able to come home.

Evaluation

In the rehab building they have evaluation meetings every Wednesday morning with the doctors and therapists to evaluate how you are progressing, and make goals for you to work towards. Dad had his first one today, and it went really well. They said that dad was really showing progress in all that he was working at. He is able to walk some without any help, and has started working on climbing stairs (this was his request, he really wants to get to the cabin). He climbed up and down 12 steps both yesterday and today. Mom and I were able to spend some time with him and his physical therapist today watching and learning what we'll need to know when the time comes for him to be released. We'll be going back tomorrow or Friday to learn more about helping him around and to work with dad getting into and out of the car.

Speaking of being released, they told dad today that if things are still looking this good next Wednesday that he'll be released to go home after his morning evaluation meeting. He would then be placed on an outpatient therapy program. He has another Barium Swallow test on Friday to check to see how he is swallowing. He is still working with the speech therapist working on his swallowing, and he can be released even if he is still feeding through a tube.

Prayers are being answered, and dad is coming home soon. We thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers. Dad looks forward to hearing his latest blog comments every time we see him.

Rehabilitation & Physical Therapy

A couple of newsworthy items. Dad's chest tube was removed today. It was a drainage tube draining fluid from his chest cavity. This was to help promote healing and also to relieve pressure. Fluid buildup and pressure could have caused a collapsed lung. The only tube remaining is his feeding tube, and he'll have that until he is swallowing correctly.

The other news, dad is now in rehab to start his physical therapy. The rehab building is across the street from the hospital. In rehab he will be working with a physical therapist, speech therapist, and occupational therapist.

Good News

Well, dad seems to be recovering from the ICU Psychosis. He had been saying some things that we didn't really understand. Things about a war in Las Vegas, and Amy's boyfriend losing his job over it. He also introduced us to his nurse and said that we might remember her from a flight from London. He also got pretty upset with mom one day when he found out that a friend from church had brought her all the way to see him. After a good long talk with his nurse one night things were cleared up a bit for him. He was actually thinking that he was in a hospital in Las Vegas. That explains why he was upset with mom for having her friend drive her all the way to see him. It doesn't explain the war, Amy's boyfriend losing his job, or him thinking we met his nurse on a flight from London. But, ICU Psychosis can make you think and/or see some pretty strange things.

Dad has had a few tests the past couple of days. He had a Barium Swallow test yesterday and a Heart Stress test today. The heart stress test looked good to the doctors, but they are waiting for a scan to come back so they can be 100% sure that his heart is working properly. The Septic Shock put stress on all of his organs including his heart. If the scan comes back clear than he will be released from his heart doctor. The Barium Swallow test showed that he was actually aspirating every time he swallowed. The doctor said this was very common in patients that had been on a ventilator for so long. With some muscle atrophy and having all the tubes down his throat he has basically forgotten how to swallow. He will be working with a speech therapist to relearn how to properly swallow. Until then he will be receiving his food through a tube directly into his gut.

While mom and I were visiting dad today one of the surgeon's assistants came up to see dad. He explained a lot of the previously mentioned to us. He also wrote an order for dad to be moved from ICU to a regular hospital room. So, this afternoon dad will be moving from ICU down to the sixth floor to a regular room!

Dad has made a lot of progress these past couple of weeks. The doctors are going slower this time to make sure he doesn't have another setback. As soon as they feel ready to release him from the hospital he will be moving to the Physical Therapy building. The doctor in charge over there has already come to see dad, and he'll be working with dad's surgeon to see when dad can be moved over there. They will also have to determine whether dad can handle the PT level they require (about three hours per day).

Hello, Friends and Family!

I'm at work and only have a moment, but wanted to send out a quick thanks to all of you who have left thoughts for Dad. We went and saw him today, and he's looking so much better! More on that later...

Many of you have commented and said thanks to me for the blog updates, but I really must give credit where credit is due. The blog was Matt's idea, and the majority of the posts have been made by him. The only blog posts I have made are the ones with my name at the end of them (which I add only because of the personal feelings I share in them). For the record, if my name isn't at the end of the post, it was all Matt. He has been really great about making sure he's knowledgably informed so that he can give accurate and thorough updates. When Dad was hooked up to all the machines last week, Matt was taking notes on all the readings so that he could keep everyone updated with the very latest on Dad's progress.

So, thanks should really go to Matt for coming up with such a great way to keep everyone abreast of Dad's progress, and for the many updates he has posted.

Melenie

No News Is Good News

Dad is still making the slow and steady climb to full recovery. Mom has been visiting him during the day while Matt and I work, and we've been letting him sleep at night. Mom said during her visit today, Dad seemed more coherent and aware of his surroundings... he was making jokes and even asked her about their income tax returns, so he's thinking much more clearly. He was out of bed and in his his chair for a short time yesterday (Wednesday) and today he sat up in bed, but didn't get out of bed.

Our bishop, who is also a doctor, visited him briefly this morning and said he seemed to be doing well. The Bishop said Dad asked him, "How is Ellen?" and the bishop told him she seemed to be doing just fine. Dad said, "I worry about her." The fact that he's asking about mom and wondering about income tax returns tells me he's improving a little bit every day.

The nurse told me this morning that he's still working on clearing his lungs, but overall he's doing well and seems to be getting some decent rest the last couple of nights.

So, while we don't have a lot to report, no news is good news. The three of us will be visiting Dad in the morning, so we'll be able to post a more thorough update tomorrow evening.

Thanks to all of you who are leaving comments and keeping our family in your thoughts and prayers. It is appreciated more than we can express.

Melenie Ottosen

Slow and Steady Progress

Dad had a Physical Therapist in with him today exercising his legs, and he will be starting work with an Occupational Therapsit tomorrow. When Mom called the hospital this afternoon, the day nurse told her that Dad had asked, "Is Ellen here?" This was the first time Dad has asked for family, so she and Matt went to see him for awhile.

We went back tonight after the shift change, and he seemed a little more coherent. He's on Morphine for pain, but only a minimal amount. He is a bit disoriented; the nurse told us that he couldn't tell her who the president of the United States is, but he does recognize photos of family, and he responds to us when we talked to him tonight.

He seems to be having a bit of difficulty clearing his lungs, and so the doctors are talking about doing something to help with that. We'll know more in regards to that tomorrow.

He looks tired. Worn out. Frail. It's hard to see him like this, because he's always been such a go-getter, so active, never sitting still for very long. It must be difficult for him to be "trapped" in a hospital bed this way. I do hope he can be moved out of ICU soon, and then home to his family and the dogs and the things that bring him joy.

I spoke to the nurse tonight, and she said that what Dad is experiencing is called ICU Psychosis. The internet provides a ton of info on this condition; in short, ICU psychosis is a disorder in which patients in an intensive care unit experience anxiety, hear voices, see things that are not there, and become paranoid, severely disoriented in time and place, agitated, etc.

ICU Psychosis is quite common (one patient in every 3 who spends more than 5 days in an ICU experiences some form of the disorder). Basically a form of dilirium, it is often caused by a combination of different factors, including dehydration, hypoxia (low blood oxygen), infection, and drugs. Add to any of these causes the fact that you have machines beeping all around you 24/7, and nurses taking your vitals every hour, doing a full assessment every 4-8 hours, and turning you from your back onto your side and then from your side onto your back approximatley every 2 hours, and you're getting little to no sleep. That's bound to make even the most sane person a bit wacky after a week in ICU!!

The nurse was very sweet, and reassured me that even though Dad seems really weak and out-of-it, all of his "vitals" indicate that he's doing great. The fact that he's off the ventilator is HUGE progress! He's no longer on double sedatives, which makes him more alert, more aware of his surroundings, and more able to respond to us. The swelling in his arms and hands is completely gone, which is a big relief. She assured me that the loopiness we're seeing is "normal" and told me the best thing we can do is visit Dad during the day and let him rest at night.

So, overall, things are looking good, and Dad is progressing slowly and steadily. Again, thanks to all of you who have left comments and well-wishes. We take new comments with us each time we visit and read them to Dad, and he seems to appreciate them so much. The power of prayer is so strong, and the comfort that comes from the love of family and friends helps get us through each new day. We appreciate the love and support we have received from so many, and ask for your continued prayers on Dad's behalf.

Melenie

"Get me out of here!"

The good news, dad was taken off the ventilator and his Propofol sedation drip. They are also weening him from his Fentanyl sedation. These two sedations have caused some mental confusion for dad, and they want to get him on Morphine (only when he is in pain). They are hoping this will help control his pain and clear his head.

Dad looked good last night. His eyes were open, and he was able to talk with us. He knew who we were, and he was able to recognize his family from photos. All he really kept saying was, "Get me out of here!" He doesn't really understand what is going on with him, where he is, or why he is there. As the sedation works its way out of his system his mental state will improve.

Even though he has some mental confusion the fact that he is awake and responding is very good news.

He'll Carry You

Often when I am struggling with a trial in life, I find the music of LDS artist Hilary Weeks particularly comforting. The words to "He'll Carry You" form her Day of Praise CD really hit home for me the other night, and I was filled with a calm sense of peace and felt the love of the Savior surrounding me...

He knows your heart
He knows your pain
He knows the strength it took just to simply breathe today
He sees the tears that you cry
He knows your soul is aching to know why

He hears your prayers
Each humble word
When you said you couldn't face another day, He understood
He knows the path when you walk blind
Though you've felt alone He's never left your side

He knew there'd be moments when no earthly words could take away your sorrow
And no human eyes could see what you're going through
When you've taken your last step
And done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you

He'll bring you peace
And leave you hope
And through the darkest nights He'll comfort you until you know
The sun will rise and each new day
You will have the strength to live again

And in the moments when no earthly words can take away your sorrow
And no human eyes can see what you're going through
When you've taken your last step
And done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you

He hears you when you're crying in the night
He hears you when your soul longs to fight
'Till the morning will come
And the light of the dawn reassures

That in the moments when no earthly words can take away your sorrow
And no human eyes can see what you're going through
When you've taken your last step
And done all that you can do
He will lift your heavy load and carry you

When trials like the one we are enduring come along, it's often all too easy to take our frustrations out on the ones we love the most, the ones who need us most. But the truth of the gospel gently reminds us that families are forever, and the example of our Savior teaches us that the love of an eternal family is more powerful than the doubt and fear that encompasses us in dark and difficult times.

I feel the love of my Heavenly Father so strongly this week. I am comforted in knowing that He is aware of our heartaches and our struggles and He is by our side to guide us down the difficult paths in life. I am so grateful for the gospel in my life and the peace it brings me, and I pray that our Heavenly Father will continue to watch over us and guide us daily as we stand united as a family, supported by each other and so many who love Dad and pray for him.

Melenie Ottosen

This was sent to us by Tahna Whitaker and it brings us much comfort:

Enduring Well

By Elder Neal A. Maxwell
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Ensign, Apr 1997

Rather than simply passing through trials, we must allow trials to pass through us in ways that sanctify us.

Trying to comprehend the trials and meaning of this life without understanding Heavenly Father’s marvelously encompassing plan of salvation is like trying to understand a three-act play while seeing only the second act. Fortunately, our knowledge of the Savior, Jesus Christ, and His Atonement helps us to endure our trials and to see purpose in suffering and to trust God for what we cannot comprehend.

Revealed truths reassure us that we are enclosed in divine empathy. As Enoch witnessed, we worship a God who wept over needless human misery and wickedness (see Moses 7:28–29, 33, 37). Jesus’ perfect empathy was ensured when, along with His Atonement for our sins, He took upon Himself our sicknesses, sorrows, griefs, and infirmities and came to know these “according to the flesh” (Alma 7:11–12). He did this in order that He might be filled with perfect, personal mercy and empathy and thereby know how to succor us in our infirmities. He thus fully comprehends human suffering. Truly Christ “descended below all things, in that He comprehended all things” (D&C 88:6).

Without the gospel fulness, many understandably have equivocal views not only about human suffering but also about Jesus Christ and the Resurrection. Without freshening and reinforcing modern prophets, the ancient prophets can easily become less read and less revered and can seem less relevant to daily life. Similarly, without the confirming and freshening of additional, attesting scriptures, the Bible is less read, less believed, and less convincing for some. Mankind desperately needs doctrinal nourishment!

Click here to read the entire article by Elder Neal A. Maxwell.

Positive Progress

We visited dad last night, and he is looking much better. The nurses who are caring for him had washed and combed his hair, and given him a shave. His color was very good, and the swelling in his hands and arms is almost completely gone. His fever was down low enough (about 100.5) that they were able to turn off the cooling blanket. In addition, the CT Scan results showed no fluid, but an x-ray still showed signs of pneumonia.

During the day yesterday, they lowered dad's sedation, and he woke up and responded well to the nurses. However, he is still quite uncomfortable from the ventilator tube in his throat. For this reason they are keeping him well sedated so that he can rest, but the sedation level was down from the day prior. All signs show that he has a very healthy body (physically fit and in great shape), and they hope to ween him from the ventilator and sedation over the next few days.

As we talked to dad and read the recent comments we have received on the blog, he responded to us for the first time since Wednesday. When Melenie asked if he could hear us he nodded his head, and when she asked him to squeeze her hand he did. He was also able to lift his arms up slightly. When we read the comments from friends and loved ones, he showed a lot of emotion and shed a few tears. We know that even though he is unable to express his gratitude right now, that he greatly appreciates all of the love and support that so many are giving. We know without a doubt that your thoughts and comments are aiding him in his recovery.

Lookin' Good

We just got back from visiting dad. He was looking much better. His color was good, and he was resting very peacefully. They upped his sedation some to keep him comfortable. When we go in tomorrow morning we'll give him a bit of a sedation vacation and see if we can get him to respond some. He has a really good nurse the next three nights, and we all feel that will help the situation too (we haven't been completely pleased with some of his past nurses).

They ran a couple of tests today. The CT Scan results won't be back until tomorrow. They also did an electrocardiogram (ECG / EKG), and that showed nothing wrong with his heart.

Tests and More Tests

We just got back from visiting dad. He is still unresponsive, for the most part. Melenie did get a small hand squeeze from him when she read the comments that had been left in this Blog. We thank everyone for their love, concern, and prayers.

Yesterday they checked for gall stones, blood clots, and his gall bladder and liver function. They did a couple of ultrasounds to check for gall stones and blood clots. They didn't find any gall stones, and tests determined that his gall bladder is functioning properly. They did find some small blood clots in both arms in superficial veins. The doctors aren't too worried about this, but they have upped his blood thinner a bit. His liver is functioning properly, but they have noticed a small increase in his liver enzymes. The doctors said that this is pretty normal for someone in his post op condition. Today they are going to be doing a CT Scan (CAT Scan) to check his heart function.

It's hard to see dad in this state. One of the hardest things is determining how dad is feeling and what he needs from us, because he just can't tell us right now.

It was good to have Amy here for almost a week. She had to go back to Seattle this past Wednesday. With her Occupational Therapy skills she was able to help dad and show us how to read some of the monitors and understand some of the hospital lingo.

In addition to the comments to this Blog, we are going to be reading from the scriptures during our visits with dad. If any of you have a favorite scripture about hope, faith, or the healing power of the Atonement, please feel free to share them with us. Again, we thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and support.

From the Beginning

We have decided to start the blog to keep family and friends updated on Pete's progress, this also provides a forum for people to respond and post thoughts and comments. We will take and read these thoughts and comments to him in the hospital.

On Monday, March 19, dad was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus and stomach. This posed a unique problem for the doctors; they had two separate cancers with healthy tissue in between. After several tests they decided to remove his entire stomach and six inches of his esophagus.

A bit of Pete's medical history, dad had cancer back in 1970, and they radiated all of his abdomen. This caused damage to his cells, and the doctors were concerned that this radiated tissue would not heal properly. Another note, this new cancer developed where the two radiation treatments in 1970 overlapped, and did the most damage to his tissue (cells), causing significant scar tissue. It is possible that this is the cause of the recent cancer in his body.

The surgery took place on Friday, April 20, and it seemed to be a complete success. By Sunday, April 22, dad was walking around his room in ICU. He was asking for shoes, books, and reading glasses. On Monday, April 23, the doctors tested the surgical area for leaks and found none, they said everything was healing well. On Tuesday, April 24, dad was cleared to start drinking water and juice. He was also moved from ICU to a regular patient room. This raw, undigested, food caused severe gas pains. This caused severe discomfort. Late Thursday, April 26, dad vomited and aspirated ¹ the vomit. This caused ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome) ² and septic shock ³, they then decided to move dad back to ICU.

1. Aspiration is the entry of secretions or foreign material into the trachea and lungs.
2. ARDS (acute respiratory distress syndrome) is a life-threatening condition that causes lung swelling and fluid build up in the air sacs.
3. septic shock is a serious medical condition caused by decreased tissue perfusion and oxygen delivery as a result of infection and sepsis. It can cause multiple organ failure and death.

In ICU dad was placed back on a ventilator and heavy sedation. On Tuesday, May 1, dad was taken off of most of the sedation and was over the hump in regards to the septic shock. There was still fluid in his lungs, but his eyes were open and he was very responsive. On Wednesday, May 2, dad seemed to be slipping a little. He was still responsive, but his eyes remained closed. Today, May 3, dad was completely unresponsive to the nurse and our attempts to communicate with him.

The doctors have ordered many tests. The are worried about blood clots forming and his gall bladder and liver functions. They will be testing all of this today, and we'll keep you posted on these results and all of his progress.

We know dad has many people who are praying for him and sending well wishes his way. We are grateful for the outpouring of love that we have felt. Please feel free to comment with your thoughts and we will share them with dad during our visits with him. We know that he will feel your love and support and have faith that this will aid in his recovery.

We chose "Give Me This Mountain" as the name for dad's blog because of his love for hiking and the great outdoors.

Joshua 14:12
Now therefore give me this mountain.